BREAKING FROM VICTIM HOOD CYCLE

BREAKING FROM VICTIM HOOD CYCLE
              CHIBU NDUBUISI  10/04/2017

Peace be to you.
                            "A people that elects corrupt politicians are not victims but accomplices"
                                                                   George Orwell

As an undergraduate, I was regaled with many reasons why we are a backward Nation,  most notably, excuses of slavery, colonialism, imperialism and neo imperialism.  Yes, these excuses might have contributed to the larger underdevelopment narrative but it is no longer fashionable to me. When the National budget of a 3rd world nation like Nigeria on Defense is more than that budgeted for Research and Development  or Education,  how can we complain of imperialism? I have chosen to discontinue from a dysfunctional thinking cycle because being in that victim hood cycle gives me a good excuse not to question why our policy makers and ruling elites have difficulty in putting us on the right path. The victim hood cycle gives me sense of relief that comes with shifting responsibilities to others like the Western World and provides me with a manipulative and attention seeking tool(always begging for Aid) I no longer want to subscribe to. I am breaking it with myself and no longer willing to pass this idea to future generation.

What are those experiences that have enclosed us in the victim hood cocoon? Is it our families, friends, communities, Nation or social groups? What is the story that tilts us towards having this victim mentality? Remember fascism ideology was defeated in 1945, communism in 1989. You can equally defeat your fears.

The victim mentality according to Google search engine " is an acquired(learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard themselves as a victim of the actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case even in the lack of clear evidence of such circumstances".

The victim mentality make up are
1. Victims always focus on their weakness.
2. Victims always make excuses
3. Victims always complain
4. Victims compare themselves unfavourably to others.
5. Victims always look for those to blame.
6. Victims always see problems as permanent.
7. Victims keep repeating ineffective behaviours.
8. Victims don’t like trying.
9. Victims predict defeat and give up.
10. Victims don’t like taking responsibilities.

Yes, the scars, stabs, betrayals and labels we carry in life are enough to weigh us down but Haruki Muratran advises that "we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever". We can choose not to be victims of circumstances but to be a product of our own designs. Flowers grow back even when they are stepped on.

Healing can only start when the victim mentality is shed. There are two options. Either we make progress or make excuses.

Peace be with you.