HELICOPTER PARENTING: VALUES OVER GIFTS

HELICOPTER PARENTING: VALUES OVER GIFTS
© 2018 CHIBU NDUBUISI 29/9/2018 WEEK 39

“Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy”. Robert A Heinlein
 








Peace be upon you.

Discussing with Commander M. M Okoye, he brought to the fore some principle of positive parenting to include but not limited to these list: he averred that parents must be Protectors, Priest, Providers, Role models Teachers, Companion and Playmate. After listening to him, I remembered the term "helicopter parent" which was first used by Dr. Haim Ginott in his 1969 book Parents & Teenagers. The teens explained that their parents would hover over them like a helicopter, giving them no space to take initiative. Another source explains helicopter parenting as about doing for children what they can do for themselves and making parental decisions based on our own ego and what we failed to achieved. We drive them to compensate for our failures.
Parental guidance and control is changing rapidly in this new age. Most of today’s parents are no longer there to parent. The demands of economy has even made some of the kids to become bread winners in many families in the developing world because many parents have abdicated their responsibilities, those who haven’t, have no time, those who have time, are trying their best to make ends meet.
Abraham Lincoln’s Famous Letter to His Son’s Teacher is reproduced here for us to ruminate on. He advises that

• “He will have to learn, I know that all men are not just, all men are not true.
• But teach him also that for every scoundrel, there is a hero.
• That for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader.
• Teach him for every enemy, there is a friend.
• Steer him away from envy, if you can.
• Teach him the secret of quiet laughter.
• Let him learn earlier that bullies are the easiest to tick.
• Teach him, if you can the wonder of books.
• But also give him time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and the flowers on a green hillside.
• In the school, teach him that it is far honourable to fail than to cheat.
• Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him that they are wrong.
• Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough people.
• Try to give my son the strength not to follow crowd, when everyone is getting on the band wagon.
• Teach him to listen to all men… but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth, and take only the good that comes through.
• Teach him, if you can how to laugh when he is sad.
• Teach him there is no shame in tears.
• Teach him to scoff at cynics and beware of too much sweetness.
• Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidder but never to put a price-tag on his heart and soul.
• Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob and to stand and fight if he thinks he is right.
• Treat him gently but do not cuddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel.
• Let him have the patient to be brave.
• Let him have courage to be impatient.
• Teach him to always have sublime faith in himself, because then, he will have sublime faith in mankind.
• This is a big order but see what you can do.
• He is such a fine fellow, my son!
In Deuteronomy 6:6-9. Moses admonishes the people “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
In the final analysis, the only guidance that will be valuable to our kids is the values we inculcate in them and not following them everywhere.

Peace be with you.

read more insightful articles @ www.chibundubuisi.blogspot.com

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